This weekend has definetly been diferent as in the way i have been thinking. When i need to vent i have people i can trust to run to and cry, scream, hit, etc. if i needed them. Some people do not have that and need someone to just say "I am here if you ever need me!" Then again you may think that oh they know i am here, well saying from previous expereience, it is so much more reassuring to know that someone is there and will be there whenever. Sometimes you may need to just sit there and let them cry, or you may need to talk it out with them. No matter what it is such a precious thing to have someone who cares.
I am lucky that i have a big family who cares, most of my support comes from them. But i also know that sometimes family can be the most hurtful. No matter what you may ever think, someone will always be there to help you. Wheither it be a parent , family member, or just a buddy that is there and willling to care......but know no matter what i believe you can talk to God about anything. Nothing is too simple or too much to talk about with him... he has been through it all (a couple times). In a way i am not trying to preach, but in the bible it says "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son. So that we may not perish but live in eternal life..." John 3:16. How can that not show you that you always have someone? Even if you cant see them they are there. I still talk to my grandparents,aunts/uncles, and many other family/friends (ones who have passed). Sometimes i even talk to my dad, him and i didnt get along when he was alive and i regret that everyday of my life. i thank god for him and my family as much as i can, because i do not know how much time i have left here.
I know i got off subject a little but, i do have a point i promise. When we are young most of us have a fairy tale in mind ( am i wrong). I, of course, dreamed of growing up with the dad who would have his gun out to meet my boyfriends, a mom who was my bestfriend :) ( and i do have that part), a big brother who would annoy me but at the same time protect me from it all. For a short time i had some of that. Till i lost my dad and with that my half-brother started more and more to leave me . That just killed me and makes me wonder what i could have done to pro-long it. i know it sounds dumb, but i believe there is nothing i can do or could have done. I had the brother who told me that if i ever needed someone he was a phone call away. I can not express how much that used to ease my mind. having someone there to help us achieve a little bit of our dreams is something EVERYONE NEEDS.
Ok i am done lecturing for the night, maybe i don t know yet. I hope this helps (if anyone is actually reading I AM HERE IF YA NEED ME ;})
